Two Men And A Baby

Nowadays, there are many ways to build a family, and men who identify as gay have more options than ever before. Egg or embryo donation, intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), and surrogacy are all possibilities worth considering. With a little help, a baby can be a reality for men in the LGBTQ+ community who desire to become parents.

In need of an egg

Biologically speaking, sperm from a man and an egg from a woman are needed for a baby to be created. However, all hope is not lost for gay men without a female partner. Egg donation is when a woman donates her eggs to be used by someone else. Once an egg is obtained, the intended father can provide the necessary sperm to create an embryo.

Embryo donation

Another approach to parenthood is to skip the egg and go straight to an embryo. An embryo is a few steps further along, having already combined egg and sperm. The embryo is typically grown in the lab for a few days to ensure viability before being frozen for future use. When using an embryo, the intended father will have no genetic relation to the baby as another man’s sperm is used to create the baby. However, this can be appealing for men who want to avoid passing down certain genetic conditions.

Finding a surrogate

Once the egg or embryo is obtained, the next step is finding a gestational carrier. Known as a surrogate, this woman will carry and deliver the baby. Surrogacy is a big commitment; finding the right person for the job can take time. Some gay men may have a family member or friend willing to serve as a gestational carrier. For others, an agency can set up a surrogacy arrangement. Either way, having a legal agreement in place can help ensure the baby ends up with the desired parents after delivery.

IUI vs IVF

The last step is for the surrogate to have a transfer done. Men combining personal sperm with a donated egg will likely opt for intrauterine insemination. During IUI, the man provides a sperm sample in the office. The doctor then takes this sample, cleans it, and injects the sperm directly into the surrogate’s uterus. This approach increases the chances of success. For gay men who choose an embryo that is already created, IVF can be done. With IVF, the doctor transfers the embryo directly into the surrogate’s uterus.

Bringing home baby

Choosing whether to use an egg or embryo donor, IUI or IVF, and who will serve as a surrogate are personal decisions. Each man or couple will have to determine the best approach. However, once the decision is made and the transfer occurs, the dream of parenthood is in sight. After 9 months, dad will have a sweet baby to hold and love.