With Surrogacy, Same-Sex Couples Can Start Families

More same-sex couples are hoping to start or grow families with a biological link to the child. Strategies like in vitro fertilization (IVF) have transformed from being a solution to infertility to an opportunity for these couples to have children. IVF, however, is not enough for same-sex male couples or transgender women. Surrogacy is quickly becoming a popular choice. With surrogacy, a woman carries the baby to term on behalf of the couple. Choosing the right gestational carrier and traditional surrogacy ensures a successful and smoother journey.

A gestational vs. traditional surrogacy

With surrogacy, the woman, known as the surrogate mother, becomes pregnant and carries the child to term. The goal is to give the child to the intended parents after childbirth. Surrogate parents will have to choose between traditional and gestational surrogacy. With traditional surrogacy, the woman is impregnated using an intrauterine insemination (IUI) procedure. The woman's natural eggs are used in the process, giving the surrogate a genetic link to the child. With gestational surrogacy, an embryo is created outside of the body using IVF and implanted into the gestational carrier. The intended parent's egg, sperm, or donor material creates the embryo. The surrogate has no genetic link to the child. While traditional surrogacy is possible, this process is rare. Most surrogate births today are gestational.

Not as easy as you think

Choosing a gestational carrier and going through the fertility treatment process is quite difficult. There are multiple moving parts and factors to consider. First, finding a gestational carrier can be challenging as there are criteria the surrogate must meet to be a viable candidate. Matching can take months, and the woman must agree to the terms of the arrangement. The financial, medical, and even emotional needs of the surrogate must be met during the process. Surrogacy includes the IVF process, so the couple may need to present sperm or take hormone medication to improve fertility. Donor eggs are also required from a fertility clinic or donor bank. The couple must be supportive each step of the way to increase the odds of success.

The emotional and financial obstacles

The fertility treatment, combined with surrogacy, can place an emotional burden on the couple and the surrogate. The couple must navigate social issues, family life, and legalities surrounding surrogacy. There is sometimes a lack of understanding from close friends and family. This journey can be filled with stress and anxiety, so having close support is recommended. Building a good rapport with the surrogate is also essential so that everyone is on the same page. The financial burden is also a challenge for couples, but proper planning, financial grants, and aid can help. These are some of the many obstacles to surrogacy.

Is a gestational carrier the right choice?

There are multiple factors that indicate if a gestational carrier is the right choice. The couple should want a biological link and will use sperm and even donor eggs from the intended family. One or both partners will have a genetic link to the future baby. For gay couples, each partner can provide sperm to combine with donor eggs, creating embryos genetically related to each partner. Lesbian couples with fertility challenges can combine surrogacy with reciprocal IVF using donated sperm. Couples who have a desire for children and are ready to navigate the logistical, medical, and financial requirements are great candidates.

The start of a beautiful journey

Surrogacy can provide hope to same-sex couples wishing to have children. Using a gestational carrier ensures a singular genetic link to the child, which can be important for the couple. Gestational surrogacy gives the couple more flexibility with the IVF process. Approach the journey with an understanding of all that is required. Even with challenges, there are joys. Hopeful parents go through the process with the surrogate and build stronger bones. Speak with the fertility team to feel more empowered on this unique path to parenthood.